ENGLISH 221: INTRODUCTION TO BUSINESS WRITING
KING'S COLLEGE
WILKES-BARRE, PA 18711
READING: Chapter 2 and Chapter 4, pages 107 to 119.
WRITING: MEMO REVISION
Rewrite the following memo, which is poorly written not because of anything grammatical, but because of the tone that Mr. Bednar uses in asking his tellers to perform a particular task. Determine what make this memo ineffective and rewrite it. In considering your approach, remember that this is Mr. Bednar's first memo to his employees reminding them to lock their drawers. Also keep in mind that the most effective business writing shows the writer's sensitivity to the readers' needs and reactions. Don't worry about proper memo format for this assignment; concentrate on tone and style.
TO: All Tellers
FROM: Peter Bednar, Manager
DATE: January 30, 1996
SUBJECT: Locking Cash Drawers
All tellers must be sure to lock their cash drawers whenever they are away from their window for more than a few moments. Management has been instructed to check each teller’s cash drawer during lunch and coffee breaks. Any teller who leaves a drawer unlocked will be notified and cautioned.
Thank you for adhering to this policy.