ENGLISH 221: INTRODUCTION TO BUSINESS WRITING
KING'S COLLEGE
WILKES-BARRE, PA 18711

READING: None

WRITING: EXERCISE 2: REVISING A LETTER

The last several assignments have required you to write e-mail, memos and letters. As a brief test of your ability to edit correspondence, find at least twenty things wrong with the following item. Be sure to comment on matters of tone as well as matters of grammar and form.

6543 Elm Street
Terrytown, New York. 13425

Robert M. Steele, Ph.D.
Deparment of Biology
University of Rhode Island
Provincetown, RL 16453

Dear Doctor Steel,

This letter is being written to tell you that the Biology club at Walters college would like you to speak at our yearly conference.

Due to the fact that the conference is focusing on genetic research this year, we have selected to invite you because of your internationally known work with cloning. In fact, Dr. Janet Quakenbush, who is a professor of Biology here at Walters, claims that some of your latest and most recently completed research will appear shortly in "Quit Cloning Around," the foremost journal in the field. It is hopefully anticipated by our club members that you will come to Walters to give us all a preview of what we can expect to read in QCA.

The confrence this year will be held on December 21, a Tuesday, at 3:00 PM, and will last about three hours and will be attended by about thirty five people approximately. We expect you to give your presentation from 4:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.

If you can accept this invitation, we will be more than happy to provide a stipend of $500 plus travel expenses. You should be able to make the drive from Provincetown to Tarrytown and back on the day of the conference, however, should you need to stay over, the biology club will provide lodgings.

The officers and members of the club look forward to your presentation. Thank you in advance.

Best Wishes,

Peter Plantcell